I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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