I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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