I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
