she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I am naked and annoyed.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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