I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
