No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
