I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
