So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think a kid would responsible me up
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
