I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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