I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize