I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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