I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
