Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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