is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
