im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Two words: nipple clamps
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