Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
