yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
