Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
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The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
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I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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