That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
3 2 1 whiskey
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
