The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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