i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
