Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
