My room smells like vodka and shame
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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