So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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