How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
zippers are such a cool invention
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think your dad took our porno
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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