I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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