It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
