Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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