butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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