Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
