At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
