I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize