who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
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I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
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Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
third nipple confirmed
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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