I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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