i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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