Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
they call him Oral-B. enough said
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
