"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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