Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
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I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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