just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
