yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
