ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
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I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
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But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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