You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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