She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
