She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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