tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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