My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.