my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize