I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
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We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
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I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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