I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
