the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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