Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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