Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
