I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
