First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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