they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
