I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
nutella sex= disaster
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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