I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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