Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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