my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sorry about my life...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
