This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
