Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
