pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
worst night to have a conscience
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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